Inner Thoughts


What is this



      Upside down

Feeling that plagues my dreams both awake and asleep


How does it




Every piece of my being that struggles to stay grounded?


For something




Hovering tauntingly just outside of my grasping reach


For that




Companionship possessed, it seems, by everyone but me


Amidst these things




Forced down throats like fattening a lamb for feasting


Of not being




To these expectations pressed upon me by those who





I am not in love.

I am not always happy.

I fall between the cracks of lines drawn to define the unthinking masses that wander without purpose.

     Wearing “in-style” clothing

     Watching “popular” television shows

     Listening to the “top hits” of music

Dating people incompatible with their souls

For the fickle acceptance and affection of hungry cannibals devouring innocent, gullible, thoughtless children playing at adulthood like a toddler pretends to be a fairy princess.

I am not normal.

Not by these standards.

I walk my own path.

     Fight my own battles

     Choose my own dreams

     Refuse to accept the lines drawn around me, through me

         Trying to remove pieces

                      To shape parts

                        To mold into something



   My soul…

Though it is




Is still my own and I will hide it

     Guard it

     Build high walls around it

Waiting, but not on hold, for someone worth giving it to.

Who will themselves





My heart, as I do the same for the precious heart entrusted into my careful keeping


             But not today.

So I will…












Find myself.

    For the day when I will finally, finally

                                        Find you.


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