What is this
Feeling that plagues my dreams both awake and asleep
How does it
Every piece of my being that struggles to stay grounded?
Hovering tauntingly just outside of my grasping reach
Companionship possessed, it seems, by everyone but me
Amidst these things
Forced down throats like fattening a lamb for feasting
Of not being
To these expectations pressed upon me by those who
I am not in love.
I am not always happy.
I fall between the cracks of lines drawn to define the unthinking masses that wander without purpose.
Wearing “in-style” clothing
Watching “popular” television shows
Listening to the “top hits” of music
Dating people incompatible with their souls
For the fickle acceptance and affection of hungry cannibals devouring innocent, gullible, thoughtless children playing at adulthood like a toddler pretends to be a fairy princess.
I am not normal.
Not by these standards.
I walk my own path.
Fight my own battles
Choose my own dreams
Refuse to accept the lines drawn around me, through me
Trying to remove pieces
To shape parts
To mold into something
Though it is
Is still my own and I will hide it
Build high walls around it
Waiting, but not on hold, for someone worth giving it to.
Who will themselves
My heart, as I do the same for the precious heart entrusted into my careful keeping
But not today.
So I will…
For the day when I will finally, finally