I’m sick of being guarded. I am so fucking tired of shutting people out when I only want to be welcoming and open and inviting. I hate that I’m so hard to get to know. I hate that I get hung up on every little detail that I do share. I hate that people have to work so, so hard just to chip away a single layer of my shell because there are so many layers. I often wonder if this is truly innate and whether or not I can fight it successfully.
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